How would I know whether the feeling I have towards him is a real love and not just a mere infatuation?

This is another very interesting topic in love relationship.  Many do not know whether or not what they feel in their relationship with their “loved” ones is genuine love or just infatuation.

First, we have to know how to discern love from infatuation. Believe me; it will be difficult if you will just seek the help of the dictionary. Let me prove that to you.

Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection or fondness for a person or thing. And you are infatuated if you are affected by an intense fondness or admiration. This is according to the Complete Wordfinder, a combination of Dictionary and Thesaurus. Did you find any difference?

We have to realize that love and infatuation do have one thing in common—strong feelings of affection for a member of the opposite sex, which complicates the matter of sorting out the differences because many of the symptoms overlap one another.

The differences between love and infatuation, then, are often found in degree rather than in definition. Therefore, one must examine all evidences with extreme caution.

Discerning the differences:

Love develops slowly; infatuation rapidly.

Love needs time to develop. This is because of the essential elements that have to be present for a love to become love. (Please see my article dated August 26, 2008 for the six elements of love). Genuine love does not develop overnight. It requires not only time but perseverance, as well. The reason why there is no such thing as “love at first sight.” It could just be “like” or “want” or attraction but never it could be love.

While the genuine love patiently waits until it becomes full grown love, infatuation does not care of anything like that. It is careless and childish.

Genuine love recognizes the importance of attraction. But this kind of attraction is not just based on one or two (or even three) characteristics of the person. Instead, it looks at the whole person—inside and out. And, remember, attraction (or feelings) is important but that is not it. The six elements must be present always for a love to become love and to stay as genuine love.

Next week I’ll continue writing about the same topic. There are at least seven (7) ways how we can discern love from infatuation. Send me your questions, comments or even prayer requests at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . I’ll try to answer them the soonest I can.

Till next week. God bless you all.

Kuya Armand